


Those to whom evil is done. Do evil in return

by solisa3



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Not A Happy Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, Unreliable Narrator, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 19:59:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8026984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solisa3/pseuds/solisa3
Summary: The dursleys were never a good family . Neither was harry the most amiable child





	Those to whom evil is done. Do evil in return

I'm sure they will like to paint me like the victim. But I was never a good child to begin with. Or maybe I was in those brief years that now seem to crumble away . Memories forged on early childhood that are extremely hard to remember.

My most predominant memories are always tinged with hatred , I suppose that’s why I've clung to them.  
Little things that show that Dumbledore is delirious when he thinks the magic capable of defeating Voldemort is ''love'' .

How can it be love; when most of the time I feel I’m made of hate? Of bits of revenge that show I’m not the helpless kid the like to think I am.

Like The time I feed 7 year old Dudley a peanut butter sandwich knowing that he was allergic to them .

I laughed at him . Laughed and laughed while his face turned red and puffy and struggled to breath, would have continued laughing .If not for aunt Petunia and her suffocating worry.

Or the teacher I denounced as a child molester just because he humiliated me in front of the class. 

Or that time I beat Phil Auden (the smallest kid of the class) when he looked at me with pity and gave me his lunch . Or when i set fire to mrs figg's 1970s record collection. Or when I took Nancy’s backpack while she was in the playground and slashed her notebooks and broke the coloring book her father bought for her birthday.

Is no wonder everybody looked the other way when uncle "disciplined" me. I 've always been prone to outburst of anger. I always paid the consequences but at the moment I only felt the exhilarating trill of hurting someone. Of not feeling defenseless. Of having control .

Hogwarts was a new beginning .I had no reason to hate them and my anger was directed to others means . I settled down and cooled , in comparation with years before. But it never meant I was a better person.

How can I ?  
When being alive meant my parents died .  
When I killed Cedric .  
When I am the reason Sirius died .

Voldemort is right in something: we are similar, and now having seen Dumbledore memories . I can't stop wondering that if not for the existence of the propecy Dumbledore would have seen me with fear.

**Author's Note:**

> In the books it's clear that harry suffers from neglect, and open hostility from the dursleys .  
> Of course that kind of behavior towards a child tend to cause problems in the normal development of skills needed to form a healthy relationships and management of emotions.  
> In this fic harry is not a reliable narrator ,he tries to justify the betrayal he feels towards the adults for not realizing the abuse he suffers by enumerating the reasons he thinks he deserves the ''disipline''.  
> All those acts of "evil" are just him lashing out , he learned that anger and aggression can be used to extert control.
> 
> In the end both Tom and Harry were raised in abusive enviroments.


End file.
